Let's Start With This One...

On the day that I am writing this, I have just had a comment made to me that I can’t stomach. It was regarding my face. The woman in the shop turned to me and said I looked different. That my face had filled out a little bit. Instantly, the anorexic voice kicked in. It was telling me to starve myself. To not eat anymore. To take back the porridge oats I had just brought. To go and find a way I can work out. 

My mum went red and told her it wasn’t the best thing to say. Something I respected. Yet, as I stood in tears in the shop car park. I felt anger. Sadness. Pain. Whilst mum tried to help, it wasn’t enough. The voice had kicked in and it wasn’t going anywhere. As we wandered around for the rest of the day, that was all my head kept repeating. Preparing our dinner together, I kept thinking of ways to cut items out. I even asked my mum if I had got a bigger face. A bigger body. Making her swear on my dad’s grave to tell me the truth. 

Asking these things shouldn’t even be a thing. They never would have been in the past. For me, I don’t often like talking about my condition too much. I would never comment on someone else's weight. I just wouldn’t. I don’t know their story, like they don’t know mine. Yet, this woman did and the anger from it was what hurt the most. 

She even asked me if it was the wrong thing to say. If you knew that it was or could be, why would you still say it? My head has latched onto this for life now. Looking in the mirror that day, we studied every little part of us. We couldn’t believe the denial my mum was saying, even though I trust her with my life. The damage was already done. 

So, I am asking you to think a little bit about what you say and to whom. It isn’t a telling off or anything like that. Just a gentle reminder that life is strange and how our mental health changes due to comments or statements is different in every single person. Don’t comment on weight. Don’t comment on things that make a person stand out, because it isn’t up to others on how they are. Just be kind and loving. Be a friend. 

I love you all, no matter what you look like, your size or even how you style your hair (mine is always in plaits by the way!). Whilst I try to work off the damage, I want you all to just remember that words can mean a lot, so think, think again and then think some more, before you say something that could hurt another. Spread love, not lousy statements. 

Joey X

How have we already gone through February 2023? How are we nearly in March? I can’t seem to move without a month passing. Who else feels like this year is going super quick? It could be due to February being a shorter month, but it really just feels like this time has gone by fast. 

Luckily, I managed to make February a memorable one, with both good and bad elements. Mostly good though, especially when I conquered a big fear food for the first time in years. Did it make the list? Find out below…

My Favourite Book: Lessons In Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus - I had been wanting to read this for a long time, so finally getting round to it was a huge joy. It was completely not what I was expecting, but in a brilliant way. I loved the female empowerment that this book brought to life and the STEM theme too. 

My Favourite TV Show/Film: Love Island - Yes, I know it isn't the greatest show, but oddly I have found myself hooked in on this series. I want Will to win and will be voting for him a lot in the next few weeks.

My Favourite Food Find: Cornflakes - After a terrible holiday, I did get one good find from it. I have recently fallen in love with pancakes again! I know that might sound boring, but I love them and to beat my fear of them was a huge thing for me!

My Favourite Beauty Item: DKNY Be Delicious Golden - My amazing mum spread the love by buying me a new perfume. I am a sucker for a scent and the DKNY brand has a special place in my heart, as it was the first real perfume my dad brought me. Carrying on the tradition, she got me the Delicious smell to help complete my collection.

My Favourite Podcast: Parenting Hell - Many of you know how much I love this podcast and it just gets better and better. For me, I prefer the Tuesday episode, but I listen to all of them with strict concentration aha! I feel like I am being invited in for a coffee and a chat each week, which is lovely.

My Favourite Experience: Seeing My Family - During the half term holiday, my brother and nephew came to stay. I adore seeing them, as it is always fun, which is just what we needed after a stressful week before. I hate to moan, but we had a terrible time at Butlins, yet these two made us very happy!

What made your February special lovelies? 

Joey X

Today is officially Pancake Day. A flipping good day for many of us! For me, it is a bit of a challenging one. I am quite good at making them, often being roped into helping family members create those little round crepes. However, I haven’t had one in years. 

I would like to say that tonight that is going to change, however, I really don’t know. My head and heart are having a little bit of an argument about it all to be honest. Plus, I am and can always remember being a bit more of a waffle person if I do say so. But, we will just have to wait and see how it goes. 

I am not putting any pressure on myself to have them or not and I am going to try and be kind to myself with the end decision. Last year, I was hugely disappointed and really had a go at myself for it. That is never a good idea. So, I have decided to just be kind. 

And hope that all of you lovelies find some nice, kind pancakes or not to enjoy today. Don’t worry if you don’t manage to have one. You can enjoy them any day of the year! Members of my family do. People I am friends with even have Christmas day pancakes. When and where you have them is all up to you. 

Just go with the flow or the flip in this case. Because let's be honest, you can enjoy Nutella with lots of things. Although for me it will be honey! I love you all loads and hope you have a tasty day whatever you have! 

Joey X

Even though I have tried quinoa in the past, it has fallen off my radar in recent years, due to personal reasons. However, as I try to accept new foods back into my diet, I was interested in finding out about ways I can bring it back into my diet. Especially, when it is said to be a perfect energy source for all, including diabetics and athletes. 

Kindly, the team at Quinola, a prepared quinoa source, who have been making the perfect dishes for a long time now for all the family, offered to send me their starter pack. And it was a huge delight. 

Filled with one pack of White Quinoa, Spicy Mexican Express Quinoa, Whole Grain Express Quinoa, Kids Mediterranean Quinoa, Quinoa Flakes and Quinoa Crackers, there were many ways I could bring quinoa back into my life. From porridge to a side dish, me and my mum could instantly start coming up with ideas that would blend the items into our meals. 

My mum was the first one to try the quinoa in a meal. Taking the crackers, she had them over a lunch period with some cheese. Soft and light, she felt like they were a completely different way to enjoy foods over this period. Plus, they were easy to pack to take with her on the move. With a new interest, she then decided to move onto adding in the whole grain express pack with a curry one night. 

Different from rice, she stated that she felt fuller for longer and was able to enjoy the nutty taste with the chicken a lot. It made her dish come to life, she stated and she would happily add it to the meal again in the future. If she had some dry quinoa, she even said it would be great to fluff up a meal made in a slow cooker.

With no kids in our house, we asked our neighbours to try the child's meal, with their young boys. Add alongside some chicken goujons, she said that they loved it and it helped her make a nutritious meal in no time at all. When asked if they would have the quinoa again, they agreed, which she was surprised by, as they are normally quite picky. 

Keeping the flakes for myself, I haven’t gotten round to having them yet, but I will let you know when I do. However, my mum has made plans this week to have the spicy mexican pack in a fajita style wrap. She will be mixing it in with some mince and spices to elevate the flavours and is very excited to do so. If it goes well, she has said she will use the white pack to make an even more original dish. 

Overall, we were really happy with the outcome and will definitely be looking out for Quinola and their products in the future! They were super easy to use, lovely to eat and made a quick but nutritious change to our diets. Keep an eye out for them in supermarkets now lovelies!

Joey X

Recently, I told you all about when I was out shopping and a woman, who we speak to quite often mentioned my weight. Something that my anorexia hated. In fact, something I, as a person, hated. Not only because it upset me, but for the way she so casually mentioned it to me. Like it was a normal thing to bring up. 

Never would I comment on a person's weight. I will hold up my hands and say that I have in the past. Not in an evil or horrible way, just as a flying comment, but now,knowing how harmful that can be, I have made it a vow to stop. I made this vow years ago and have stuck to it. Because I and no one has the right to say anything about a person’s weight. I don’t even think doctors should. 

Back in the olden days, no one spoke about their weight. It wasn’t a thing. It may have been discussed, but no to the extent it is today. Okay, health and wellness knowledge has advanced, yet, not always for the better. I think a person should be celebrated for who they are no matter what. 

It should be the mind they have. Their creativity. The knowledge and skills they possess. The family they are part of. Their smiles. The love they share with others. Not a number on a fucking scale. An evil object that didn’t exist many moons ago. When this woman said to me the comment she made, she even asked if it was the wrong thing to say. Yes, yes it was!

Living with this illness is a daily struggle as it is. I have made it a thing in my family that I don’t want weight discussed around me. I don’t want to see a scale. I don’t want to hear about diets or regimes. I just want to hear about everyday life. What soaps are they watching? How is Carol doing at work? Have they got any holiday plans? Started shopping for Christmas yet? Life matters, not weights, scales and other opinions. 

The reason I have written this post lovelies is to remind us all that a person is someone with feelings, no matter who they are. Feelings which mean something to them. So, always be kind. Always share a smile and not a harmful comment. Be good. Because when all is said and done, they are the things we should be remembered for. Spreading happiness!

Joey X

Even though many of the things we do to better our health and wellbeing in January are now meant to be over, such as Veganary and Dry January, there is nothing actually stopping us all from carrying them on, if they make us feel better. However, the most important thing to remember is that you have to do what is best for you. No one else can make these decisions. It is up to you and how your happiness is. 

For me, one of the most important things I do to stay well is to take daily vitamins. I have to take a multivitamin, to help make sure that I am giving my body the minerals it needs, which my illness sadly causes me to neglect. I also like to have a daily probiotic, to help my stomach, which is often bloated and tight, with the introduction of new foods or unusual foods. 

Thankfully, there are so many brands available, meaning if one doesn’t work then another can be tried. Over the past few years, I have tested a number of them, from expensive to affordable. Often it is the affordable ones that I find the best. However, I am willing to put my health to the test to find even better. Something I have done for this post lovelies. 

Kindly, the teams at Well.Actually and Bio-Kult gifted me a number of supplements to try. Each in different forms. From sprays to liquids, there was a way everyone could enjoy the nutrients within them. Starting with Bio-Kult, I was given a number of tablets to try from their Everyday box. 

With 14 different strains of probiotics, all gut friendly, the tablets are advised to be had with food, either whole or sprinkled over your chosen dish. I decided to have them whole. Leaving my normal probiotic behind for the test, I was surprised at how light they were on my stomach compared to the others. I felt less bloated in many ways, which at only £10.50 for a month’s supply, I would happily live with and pay for for the rest of my life. Plus, they can also be taken with antibiotics and survive the strains that kill off the good bacteria. 

After a successful first supplement, I moved onto the Well.Actually brand. This company sent me both sprays and liquids to try. Focusing on Vitamin D3, the company brings the sunshine in, by also mashing the vitamins in with others. In the liquid bottles, I was given Vitamin D3 and C to try. Diluted in a small glass of water, you would easily think that you were drinking a glass of squash and not one of goodness. It had a really fruity and vibrant taste, which I was really surprised and happy to find. However, whatever you do, don’t mix with hot drinks, as this can kill off the nutrients. 

If you aren’t so happy with the idea of a liquid vitamin drink, then the team also produces sprays. I had never used a spray vitamin before this, but I will definitely be looking into using them more in the future. Tasting of peppermint, the Liposomal Vitamin D3 and K2 spray, is squirted onto the inside of your cheek and held for a few seconds before being swallowed. Then it flows through your insides to give you what you need. I was worried at first I hadn’t done it right, but could soon feel the benefits coming through. Prices start at £19.99 for both products, which I know is a little expensive, but they do last a hell of a long time. 

Overall, I was really impressed with all of the items I tried. I have learnt of new products that made my body feel better and tried formulas I have never done before. Both have led me into a new world of goodness that I will definitely be keeping up! 

Joey X

Do you have a day of the week where you just spend time looking after yourself? For me, it is normally Sunday. I try to have a tough meal on Saturdays, which leads to my illnesses kicking in and making me feel a little bit rubbish by Sunday morning. So, I like to take the day to stay in and do a bit of self-care. 

For me, this means sticking to my routine, but with added bits of pampering. I like to shave, put on fresh PJs, look after my skin and hair, whilst also letting my body relax a bit from all the medicine I am on. My mum helps me make a veggie filled dinner and I try to be in bed, snuggled up warm by around 8:30pm. A time that may be early for some, but perfect for me. 

I don’t rush around in the morning. I take the day slow. I like to look out the window whilst having breakfast and enjoy seeing the birds. I like to have the radio on. All elements that get me ready to take on what the day brings. 

Sometimes this can be baking. Other times it can be cleaning and sorting. I normally like to do something to occupy my mind and thankfully my amazing mum is always on hand to help if I need her too. I can’t do any of the heavy clearing jobs, so she makes sure to be on standby if I set myself a challenge.

Sunday can be a day of woe for many, as it often symbolises a return to school, work or even home, if you have been away for the weekend. Yet, for me, it is a time to mentally prepare for the new week and what it may bring. Even with the voices in my head being bitches, I try to remain as positive as I can. Not an easy task, but one I work hard to achieve. 

This week, I am going to set you all a little challenge. Find one day. One hour. One minute even and take it for you. Do what you want to do. Whether that be eating a donut, watching an old favourite cartoon or plucking out an annoying hair. Do something that makes you feel good. You all deserve it!

Joey X

January can be quite a bleak month for many of us. I often find myself in a bit of a sad state, as the end of Christmas is experienced. Yet, I try to overcome this, by celebrating what the new year brings. Fresh memories, experiences and life choices. Even when all we really want to do is hibernate under our duvets. 

The month wasn’t too bad for me in the end, with some amazing moments standing out amongst the crowd. I read six books. I watched lots of good TV. And I found myself falling for even more honey delights. Discover my January 2023 favourites below: 

My Favourite Book: Taste by Stanley Tucci - Stanley Tucci is one of my favourite actors and I adore his TV series exploring Italy. Having wanted to read this book for a while, my mum kindly got it for me for Christmas. As someone from an Italian family, it made me want to head off to the gorgeous country and explore. Especially my dad’s hometown of Sicily. Filled with recipes and history, you won’t be able to put it down.

My Favourite TV Show/Film: The Apprentice - If you know me, then you know I wait all year round for this. I absolutely love it. Don’t ask me why, I just do. Sir Alan Sugar and his team actually get me to stay awake, when I would normally be dozing off. I haven’t got a favourite yet, but I think Dani is really standing out amongst the rest at the moment. 

My Favourite Food Find: Aldi Set Honey - Honey is probably one of my favourite foods ever. I will try any kind, which is really good for me, considering my condition. Aldi do a fantastic range and their set honey is honestly delicious.  I spread it all over a New York Co. Bagel and put it with apples as well for a delicious dinner. Plus, at only £1.35 a jar, it is a lot cheaper than most honeys. 

My Favourite Beauty Item: Epimax Cream - Sometimes, it is the less than pretty side of the beauty world that makes a whole host of difference. Suffering from Raynaud’s, plus with the added elements of anorexia and anxiety, mean that my body is always cold. Freezing in fact. My hands take a lot of this, changing colour, from red, white and purple. Even ulcerating, which they have done badly this month. Thankfully, this cream is fantastic at helping to soothe it. 

My Favourite Podcast: The Therapy Crouch - Searching for a new podcast, I found it in Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch’s new therapy podcast. Telling everything as it is, this podcast is funny, honest and at times a little bit brutal. A great listen whether on the go or snuggled up at home.

My Favourite Experience: The Toy Fair 2023 - January can be a bit of a sad month, with the loss of Christmas, for me and many others. Yet, the annual Toy Fair brought a lot of joy into my life at the end of January. Seeing what could be big over the year and during the next festive season has got me so excited. As you all know, I am a big kid at heart, one who got the Bluey family for Christmas, meaning this event made my whole month. 

What made your January special lovelies? 

Joey X