Hey Lovelies,

Today, I am feeling quite emotional. I am not sure if it is a mixture of the world still being tainted by this horrible illness or not, but there is one thing this week that has really affected me. On Thursday, it will have been a year since I fully asked for help with my anorexia. A whole year of experiences I never imagined I would have been through.

Taking each day as it comes, the world has shown me that recovery is not an easy journey. Still to this day I am in no way healed. I am not weight restored. I am still fighting a lot of inner and mental health matters. The world is just showing me that I am a fighter and I will get there in the end it seems.

A year ago, today, I was getting ready to go to an Elton John concert in Brighton. As one of my heroes, I made a vow to myself that I would see him before he stopped touring. I did just that. However, never did I imagine that the concert would change my life forever. With an unhealthy exercise addiction, which saw me never leave the hotel room except to go to the concert and a restrictive diet, I was losing weight rapidly.

I can remember dancing at the concert, freezing cold, even with my jacket, scarf, uncle’s coat and a hat on. I can remember sitting down trying to get warm before standing up again. I remember worrying about how I was going to eat. Cutting my thumb by accident after the concert in my hotel room, as I tried to slice up the little bit of melon, I would allow myself to eat, after returning from the gig and exercising again. The cut never healed and two days later was actually glued and stitched up.

One moment in your life can truly change it. Two days after returning from seeing Elton John I begged to go to hospital. I did not at this point, but I worked with the team near to me to a more intense level. Things never did get easy again and I did end up going to hospital, but now I am home, I am working with them again.

In many ways, Elton John saved my life. Seeing him and loving him, but being cold, ill and not able to enjoy a family break fully, all showed me that I needed to change my life. As I mark a year on from realising this, I wanted to write to say it is okay to take that experience that changes everything and speak out about it. Whether you have made big or small changes since does not matter. It is the fact you noticed, made the changes to get better and our thinking about yourself that does. Just remember lovelies that slow and steady wins the race!

Joey X