Food in hospital was different and not just because of my ED! From menu options to meal plans, everyone is treated as an individual. Yet, when I was asked if it was any good, it got me thinking, was it? Opening up to you all, here is what the dining experiences was like for me and the meal options we were given weekly!
Good Morning Lovelies,
Today marks the start of Eating Disorders Awareness Week. As many of you know, I suffer from severe anorexia. It started around ten years ago and has ruled my life ever since. However, I continue to try and fight it as much as I can.
With other illnesses on top of it, every single day is hard, however, I want to be here with my family, to enjoy life again, which is why I keep going. Even when I have a Wobbly Wednesday or a Sad Sunday, as we call them, I try to be kind to myself. That dickhead voice in our brains can’t take all of our joy. It can’t win.
Since my diagnosis, I have been very open and honest about the way the illness has impacted my life. Through early discussions about therapy to talking about my time in hospital, I have used my voice to tell you all about it. I do this because I want to help. If one person reads what I ramble on about and gets help then it is worth it.
I also talk about my illness, as I want to help those suffering to know that the little things can make a whole difference to your day. Take just five minutes, breathe and do something you want to do and not the illness. It will make you feel better, even if it is only a tiny amount.
To mark this week, I wanted to share some more of those little moments with you all. The things I do when the voice, panicking and sadness becomes a bit too much. I hope that even just one of the following suggestions can help you lovelies…
Hug Someone: The power of a hug off someone you love is incredible. In our house, I often suffer from Wobbly Wednesdays and Sad Sundays. This is normally due to me having bigger meals on Tuesdays and Saturdays, when I like to try new foods or have a good bowl of something hearty. My head becomes a knob the days after though. Often I find myself unable to even look down at my body on the days mentioned above. This is where my mum steps in. Her hugs could cure all wars. She is the best carer and hug giver ever. As soon as she wraps her arms around me, I feel safe. I’m not a massive fan of being touched, however, I do strongly believe that no matter how you are feeling, a hug is the best form of medicine.
Pamper Yourself: Believe me when I say that I know this can be tough. I am not a fan of a mirror. Place me in front of one and I can find a whole load of faults in very little time. Yet, there is a lot that can be said for having mini pamper sessions. In my house, these include cleaning my teeth properly, washing and looking after my hair, sorting out any pimples, micro-blading my face and eyebrows and exfoliating my body. Little actions that take no time at all but make me feel human. When you don’t have a lot of appreciation for your body it can be hard to care for it, however, these little steps can go a long way in making you love it again.
Do Something Creative: I’ve always loved to be creative. I like to put my hands and head to use and make something. Whether it be a pom pom or a blog post, I try to distract the racing thoughts in my mind by doing something. Currently, I am very into diamond art, as slotting the little gems into place makes me focus all my attention on that and not the voices. Find something you can do that will distract you. Counting coins, painting by numbers, reading a book, the possibilities are endless.
Meal Plan or Prep: Since I came home from hospital, I have used a whiteboard in our kitchen to highlight to myself and my mum what I am going to eat that week. By doing this, I can slowly adapt and get my head around any new foods or meals I wish to try. My mum can also be prepared, knowing what we need to buy and how she is going to make my meals. It’s made my life a whole lot easier and whilst it doesn’t differ in choice a lot of the time, when it does I feel proud.
Rest or Take A Break: Something I have been aiming to do is rest more this year. Before the start of 2024, it wasn’t an odd thing for me to be up way past midnight, allowing myself only a few hours to sleep, before I was back up at 4:45am. Since January, I have now been going to sleep at around 10:30pm every night, giving me more time to rest my body. I didn’t realise how much I needed to do this until I started doing so. I know how had it can be to just rest though, as my brain likes to tell me I am lazy and should be doing stuff all the time, however, by taking those few hours back, my body is very thankful. I am sure yours will be too lovelies.
If you need help with an eating disorder or believe that you may have one, please do speak to someone lovelies! I was told a long time ago that I would never fully heal from my illness, however, by talking to people about it, I feel better, especially on my down days. Today, when I write this, it is a Sad Sunday for me, however, writing this has spurred me to keep going forward.
Please remember this week, and beyond, that you are important and the illness is not you! You are kind. You are smart. You are worth every fragment of this earth. And as I have always said from the start of my journey, “Slow and Steady Wins The Race!”
Joey X
Where has the hot weather gone? It seems like summer came and went in a flash. I have struggled therefore to make a lot of changes to my meals, as I really don’t know what temperature to be eating for. Yet, I did discover some new brands and foods, which I wanted to share with you all.
Hopefully next month there will be more, but for now, these are my top five from August…
Twister Mini Ice Lollies: Okay, so the British weather may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy an ice lolly! After trying Rocket ones at my brother’s in July, I have branched out and found an old faithful. I’ve always loved a Twister and I’m so pleased with myself that I haven’t let me ED win and had these again. They are the perfect afternoon snack.
Tesco 0% Fat Greek Yogurt: Usually I like to buy the pots of Activia type yogurts from Aldi. In fact, I do still get them. Yet, I was speaking to my mum about how much I loved natural and Greek yogurts before my ED. Therefore, we had a look around and found this one. I’ve had it a few times now with some fruit, as a snack, and it is really creamy without being too sweet. I think it would also be great on cereals, however, I haven’t been brave enough to try that yet.
Golden Nuggets Cereal: I have been a fan of Golden Nuggets since I was little. My mum used to have to buy our family loads of boxes, as me and my brother Gio could eat them all day. I had gotten scared of them again though, meaning I stopped eating them. A few weeks ago, I poured them in a bowl though and enjoyed them for the first time in ages. You simply can’t beat a classic! Also, it was a huge fuck you to my ED!
Purple Sprouting Broccoli: For a long time I was having asparagus. However, I found myself struggling with it, due to me getting bored of it but not knowing what to change it up with. Seeing this in Aldi, I decided to try and bring it into one of my meals and really enjoyed it when I did. Perfect with sweet potato, it really does brighten up a meal.
Red Cabbage: Steamed or raw, I simply adore red cabbage. After becoming scared of the vegetable again, I have been having it with some sauce and courgetti on a Sunday night and I really love it. Although, I have to admit, I don’t love how much it dyes your hands aha!
New Food Brand I’ve Found: Dawtona Reduced Sugar and Salt Ketchup: I don’t really like the taste of ketchups that are super sweet. Yet, this one in Aldi is perfect! It has a gorgeous fresh tomato taste and is perfect on top of all sorts, especially the shepherds pie my mum makes me. Plus, it doesn’t come out to runny like over reduced ketchups do. I pick this one up in Aldi lovelies.
What new foods or brands have you discovered this month lovelies?
Joey X