Hey Lovelies, 

Writing blog posts can sometimes hard. You can get stuck in a rut at times and want to share something, but don’t really know what to say or do. I find that I go through creative stages. I know what I want to do, and I do it. Other times I have no clue but just want to write.

Today is one of those days. Life is very strange at the moment and so, I wanted to give you a little update on what is going on with me. For just over a month now I have been an inpatient on an eating disorder ward. I struggled for a long time with exercise addiction (I was doing over eight hours a day) and restrictive eating. I feared tons of foods and couldn’t get my brain around enjoying them again.

Sadly, before Christmas, my weight plummeted to, as the doctors said, “a deadly level.” It is scary to hear this and, in the end, I decided to agree with them and go into an inpatient ward. I have since spent Christmas, New Year’s and mostly all of January here. With the odd few hours out in London with my mum.

I won’t lie it is tough. I am struggling with boredom. I struggle being away from my family and friends. I have struggled to give up the control that my anorexia nervosa is feeding me. But I need to get better. I want to get better. I have so much I want to do on the outside. I want to see the littlest family members grow up. I want to enjoy foods again. I want to see my mum happy and not worried about me. I want and need a trip to Disney aha!

Some days I don’t want to speak, tweet or say anything to anyone and that is why it can be a bit quiet on here and on my social media. Sometimes I genuinely have no time and with therapy, groups and meal planning it can get a little bit too much. In those times I embrace the quiet.

Believe me when I say that I am still and probably always will be here. I just need to be able to have a few days in between if that is okay. I hope you all enjoyed Blogmas and I will definitely be doing that again this year lovely. In fact, I am trying to make sure I do all the things blogger related this year while in here and out to try and keep my creativity going.

I want to thank you for all the support and for all the help many of you have given me. The journey may have only just begun but I am going to keep fighting and staying strong. Love to you all.