Five years ago today, I said the hardest goodbye of my life! For the final time, I saw the man that made Christmas so special to me. The greatest man in my life. It hasn’t got easier but I manage today doing what we loved best! Marking it in a festive way in honour of my dad! I will love you forever Pops!

Good Morning Lovelies,

Today marks one of the worst days in my life. The day that we said our final goodbye to my dad. Five years on, it still feels as raw as it did back then. I will never forget the moment that someone called me downstairs to tell me the hearse had pulled up. In the days leading up to that moment, I had asked my mum if we could do something. I wanted to decorate the house for him to come home too. 

My love of Christmas fully comes from my dad. I don’t think there was a day that didn’t go by where we didn’t talk about how much we loved it. He was the person in my life that told me to never be afraid to celebrate it early and in any way that I could. If there was a cheesy decoration that I could put in our home, he would be the one to buy it. 

Dressing up the house all those years ago was a sad moment. Yet, it was one that cemented that I will never allow for a home to not be decorated at Christmas. Even if it is only a mini tree in the corner of a room, I will be happy. All because I know for a fact that my dad would never let a room not have a festive feel to it. 

Papa Tamburello was a man that could have rivalled Santa to me. We would both stay up late on Christmas Eve and wish each other merry Christmas first. We would gather together in the early weeks of December and plot what we could do to surprise my mum with an epic gift. We would then go on late night outings, singing along to festive songs, to gather the presents. 

One outing I will always hold dear in my heart is the one where we were sat under the night sky, covered in festive lights that were reflecting off the roof of my dad’s car, singing along to Do They Know It’s Christmas at the top of our lungs, as my mum went to pick up our takeaway. 

My dad allowed me to climb over the front seats to sit next to him and together we just belted it. If I hear the song now, I feel like he is sending me a little message that everything will be okay. Even if it's the hardest of times. 

Losing a parent or loved one at Christmas is super hard. Especially if they were one of the people that really brought the magic to it. My dad loved having all the family around him and was disappointed when we weren’t all together as we got older. I know though that he also loved the cosy ones that we would have as a threesome too, as he liked how relaxed they were. 

Whilst I will be shedding a few tears today, I will be marking it with a viewing of our favourite festive film, playing Christmas songs as loud as can be in hopes he can hear them and giving as many people in need gifts in honour of him. Although my dad may not be here in person, he will always be here in festive spirit! 

Pops, I will love you forever and always! 

Joey X