Hey Lovelies, 

When we approach the end of another month, I often think about what has happened recently. What am I proud of? What changes have been made? How has this month been different? In our family, we have had some huge changes. Sad ones in fact. Yet, we have also become closer in other ways. 

With my ED, anxiety disorder and autism having been put through their paces a bit, I felt like I was going backwards a lot. Until my therapist pointed out the small changes I have made that will lead to even more positive moments. 

Although I haven’t handle the pacing fully yet, I’ve been able to make big dents in it. I no longer time the amount of time I am out, meaning I can come in earlier if I want to or later now. I don’t walk up and down stairs as soon as I get out of bed now, instead, I get everything ready the night before. I’ve taken better care of myself and how I present who I am. I socialised more. I am so excited for upcoming life events! I’ve even tackled foods that I’ve struggled with. 

October is known for being the spooky month, but for me, it’s been a refreshing month. Times have been shared that I didn’t think I would do this year. I’ve been able to embrace and explore more of the old me again. I’ve gotten closer to my mum, if that was even possible, and the neighbours we adore. 

Removing small parts of life that have left me down has helped and my therapist is a magical person for it. She has even got me to sleep more, which is something I have struggled to do for years. Plus, the group I am with say that I am a lot more positive. Just not about rubbish TV aha! 

It’s nice to be working with and alongside people who know the struggle. Speaking openly to my mum recently I stated that I sometimes feel people think I should have finished the race now. Yet, unfortunately that isn’t the case and probably never will be. I was told quite a few times that my recovery will probably never be fully done, and whilst sad, I am learning to live my life to the fullest as much as I can. Slow and steady wins the race has always been my motto from the start and I live by it. 

Spooky stuff and seasons come and go. The cobwebs are shaken out and off. Although they come back, they can easily be battled through again. Something I am working hard on doing in my own life, no matter how long it takes. Bring on November and December! This is my time to become a fairy light and shine! 

Joey X