Hello Lovelies,

Many of you will have become aware of the fact that I returned to therapy around a month or so ago. It was a tough choice, but it needed to be done. Now, I am so grateful for it. 

Unlike my previous therapy sessions, I am working with an online team, who are around 24/7 to help me. From the moment I get up until I rest my head on a pillow at night, I can chat to someone. Something that is so soothing to me. 

To start with things changed in certain manners quickly. They have helped me try to tackle a new food each week, including adding more milk to my cereal in the morning. They have given me tools to help me relax. The team have also helped me understand that things take time. 

At the moment, I am still struggling with pacing or walking around our home. I had started to get better and not do it so much, but then a big family shuffle happened. Then a big family argument. And a holiday. 

Plus, with the team helping to diagnose me with autism, my head was all over the place. I felt like a failure for not stopping it instantly, but the team made me see that I am not a failure. I am someone with an illness that I can’t help, but slowly they will help me get as well as I can. And I believe them completely! 

Slow and steady wins the race has always been my motto in life. Right now, it couldn’t be more correct. Each day, I open up a bit more to my mum. I will speak to new people in our groups. I go and have some space if I need to. I enjoyed my birthday. 

There are still big elements that I wish we could stop. Yet, it isn’t as simple as that. So, until then, I am going to be selfish and focus on me and my self-care. Because nothing is more important that looking after yourself. 

Therefore, therapy is working out well. I still go into some sessions unsure, but when they end I feel lighter. I’ve spoken about family matters, breakfasts and even asked for porridge topping suggestions in the past. Anything goes and I love it. 

I’m not sure what the next steps are, but this week, I am going to buy a new yogurt to try and hopefully enjoy the feeling of sun on my face! Let’s do this! 

Joey X