Hey Lovelies, 

Christmas is the best time of the year for many of us! However, it can also have some really hard moments. From family arguments to losing a loved ones, moments can appear that you don’t expect, which can make December a tough time. 

Three years ago today, we sadly said goodbye to my dad for the final time. My dad always hated the cold, so for us to all be having to stand in it at his funeral, felt like he was having the last laugh. He also always wanted to gather us all together again for one big Christmas celebration when the pandemic was over. It felt like he got what he wanted. Yet, it wasn’t right, as he wasn’t there. 

I’ll never forget that first Christmas without him. Hearing songs on the radio he would sing to. Watching The Holiday, which he would binge on all throughout December. Sitting at the table with only my mum. It was hard I won’t lie. 

My dad was someone who loved Christmas though. They’re so, I’ve made a vow to always celebrate it. No matter what! It may seem like a horrid thing to say, but I know he would have wanted us to. Even that first year without him, we had to make sure that everything was as he would have wanted because it felt like a fitting tribute to him. If we hadn’t I think he would have haunted us. 

Since then, I won’t lie and say it is easier, because it really isn’t, yet I will say that we have grown stronger. We have made festive traditions that still include him. Boxing Day is now spent walking to his grave after breakfast to give him some fresh flowers as a present. We chat to him and pour a little bit of coffee or maybe a cheeky whiskey on him too. 

We light up a candle all day on Christmas Day in memory of him. At the start of December, we put up decorations in memory of him all over the house. I sing Do They Know It’s Christmas, just like we did in his car. My mum enjoys lots of pigs in blankets to mark them being his favourites. We watch The Holiday a lot. We do what he would have wanted to make sure he is never forgotten. 

A core memory I have of my dad is him driving home one year, pulling up to the front of our house and my mum instantly calling me to come and see what he had in the front seat. Sitting next to him in the passenger side was a giant Santa. And I mean giant! My dad couldn’t resist him! That Santa now lives in my brothers house and he will never part with it. Like we won’t part with the giant Christmas tree ornament he brought for his room. 

Today is a hard day, but spending some time reflecting on memories like these make me see why I need to celebrate. It makes me see why I love this time of year so much. I am my dad through and through when it comes to Christmas. I will always make sure that he is remembered today and every day, but always at Christmas. If Santa was real, I think he may have just been him. 

I hope that if you are suffering from a loss or a family issue that you are okay. I am always here to talk and give a virtual hug. Just remember that even though we can’t see them anymore they are always here. Maybe as a giant Santa! I think that is who my dad now is! 

Joey X