Good Afternoon Lovelies,

Do you ever have days where you really don’t know what is wrong but there is that feeling in your body that something bad is happening? As someone who suffers from really bad anxiety, which led to a breakdown in 2016, I get this often and it is a really awful feeling.

There are days when I don’t want to get out of bed. There are days when I don’t want to talk to anyone and there are days when all I want is someone to give me a big hug and let me know that everything is okay.

Recently my body has had a few things happen to it that has made me really panic. I worry about the way my body looks. I worry about if I am doing my new job correctly and impressing them. I am worried about how my dad really is and what is really going on through his head. I worry that my mum isn’t as okay as she makes out and I worry about the most random of stuff too.

At a screening on Tuesday night, a close friend of mine said that some awful stuff was happening to her friend who was meant to attend the event, but missed out on it to go home. I have done this a lot in the past, but since my dad had his stroke I have realised something or found something that actually helps me.

In the month that my dad had two strokes, I went to the cinema four times. It is probably the most times I have been to the cinema in a month in the past year and I am so thankful I did this. IT, Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Dunkirk and Blade Runner 2049 have taken me away from my world a lot in the past few weeks.

The world of film can be so amazing at making the world we live in disappear. For two or three hours my mind, my worries and my life just channels someone else’s life. My body is taken over by the storyline, the camera shots, the CGI, the music and the actors. Everything I am now thankful for. Not to be overdramatic but it is my blood.


I have had people tell me I talk too much about films. I have had people say that my blog isn’t important. That I am missing events because I am to focused on this little website on the Internet and I have worried about all of this before. But I have had enough of being worried.

I love this little world I have created. I love the opportunities, the people, the films and the experiences it has brought and in the past few months I have loved the air it has given me to breathe. During everything that happened, my viewers went down, my need to post was overtaken with my need to care for the people around me, but nothing made me want to stop. Nothing made my love of film go away and no one is going to make it do so.

I know that films are not going to solve all my problems and I know some people are unable to use them to get a few hours peace, but I wanted to use this post to say that you honestly don’t have to care what anyone thinks about the things that keep you calm. If they work for you DO THEM! Don’t listen to those that may judge you. Don’t listen to the people who think it won’t work, just do it. In fact just do you!

I love sitting in my room and watching films when I am feeling anxious. I love watching them whilst working out and removing those troubles. I love watching them to have fun and I love watching them because they are what have built me from a young age. So I will do this for the rest of my life and I hope you will do that too lovelies.

This may seem a little bit like a rant and I am sorry if it does, but I just wanted to thank the world of film for being my little piece of peace in 2017.