Good Morning Lovelies,

Do you ever feel like you are going through a sense of utter grief when you can’t be in a place that makes you truly happy? Recently, I have been feeling this way about Dublin. It all came about when a friend mentioned they were going for a day trip and asked for my advice on how to make the most of their time there. I wasn’t jealous of her, in fact, I was excited for her to see how wonderful it is for the first time. Yet, my heart when into a state of true sadness. 

I have never been someone who yearns to go away to super hot places. I love the wonders of the world that are quiet, with lots of things going on. Something I found in Dublin. Even when you see lots of tourists around, the city is a place of its own and the things you see and experience are all done naturally. The Irish are confident and friendly people, who will celebrate their culture in their own way and I love it. 

As soon as I see the green hills and lands of the country out of the plane window, my heart fills whole. When I see them disappearing, I feel it break a little bit each time. Last year, when we returned from a week-long trip in July, I sobbed hard whilst sat next to my mum. I didn’t want to come home. I wanted to stay and fully adapt to their ways and life. 

I have never had a bad experience in Dublin. Always welcomed with loving arms, I truly think it is my heart's home. And that is why I felt such grief at not being there. I watch clips and footage from the city all the time and each moment makes me yearn to book a ticket and go back because I know it would make me so happy. 

The feeling I have of not being there is like grief. A mild case of it but still there. Still strong enough to make me cry and feel down inside. Knowing I have a trip booked to go back in helps but it doesn’t stop that yearning I have to be there. 

Many of you reading this may wonder why I haven’t made the move yet and that is because I have a fear of doing so. Not a fear of the actual move or living there but the fear of falling out of love with Dublin if it becomes the norm. It is a place that is so special to me that I would not want anything to ruin it for me and I feel like my AuDHD may lead to me getting bored of the norm and I don’t want that for my favourite place on earth. 

So, I am having to learn to live with the grief until I am able to get back there. I am begging and pleading with the rest of the year to go by quickly, just to get back to it. However, the feeling of woe is heavy right now and it led me to wanting to write this post to see if anyone else gets this way? Do you long to be back in a place that is so special to you? Not even just because it is a holiday destination but because it actually means something to your heart, body and soul. 

Dublin is that place for me and as I write this, I am dreaming of all that I will do when I manage to get back there, which I hope and pray will be soon. I will be in the Temple Bar or Brazen Head pub singing along to the trad music as quickly as I possibly can and you are all welcome to join me when it happens! 

Joey X