Good Morning Lovelies,

Many of you have been here from the start of my anorexia recovery journey and I am so thankful to you all for your support! Each day, I get up and always look for the positives. Even when I can’t even look in the mirror or my body. 

However, some days it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to wake up and know that the day may not be your day. It’s okay to worry about what may happen within the next few minutes or hours. As long as you have support and help to guide you through those emotions, it’s okay. 

Oddly, I know that there are two real days of the week in which I struggle the most. Wednesdays and Sundays. After lots of debating and thinking of why this could be, I’ve found it is an outcome of my time in hospital. They were the days before I would be weighed, something that I refuse to do now, no matter what, because the trauma and the triggers it leads to are more harmful than good. 

Yet, during those days, I make sure to do little things that bring me a sense of calm. A bit of peace. Elements of my day that I wanted to share with you all, as you may find them helpful too. Every single day, I make sure to…

Shower and Get Dressed

Make My Bed

Read A Book/Watch Something New

Listen To the Radio or a Podcast

Do Something Creative

Go For A Walk

Listen To Music

Journal

Update My Diary

Do Something Productive/Make A Change

Although they may not seem like big things, they are to me. I like to know what is going to happen each day, because my conditions don’t react well to change. I like to be productive and creative to keep my mind stimulated. Journaling helps me think about the positives, big or small, I have seen or been a part of that day. 

Reading takes me away and out of my head for a little bit. Watching something helps me when eating meals. The radio is a continuous stream of comfort and my podcasts bring me true joy. Walking allows me to feel more at home in my body. 

Little elements like these make me who I am today. They make me happy. They bring a smile to my face. Not always, I will admit, but most of the time. They show me that even if it is only getting up, showered and dressed, I have done something for me. I have looked after myself. It’s okay even if it is only a small thing. 

Often people think that you go to hospital for mental health issues and come out cured. Like you would a broken leg or after a long illness. But you don’t always. A sad but real fact. I will live with my condition for the rest of my life and whilst I don’t want to, it’s a fact that I have sadly come to terms with. 

Yet, I will always do things to make each day better. I will always show that it’s okay to not be okay, because you are a unique person. If we were all the same, the world would be a very boring place. As I write this, in the middle of May, it is actually Mental Health Awareness Week. The theme being anxiety. A disorder I live with. 

I’ll admit that at the time of writing, 7:15am on a Sunday morning, I’ve cried over my body, my anorexia is going wild and I’ve woken up feeling hurt by a comment made by someone. And it’s okay to feel these things. Because I know that in an hour, a few or even tomorrow, I will feel better. For now though, I’m going to be okay with not being okay.

How are you feeling today? What small things do you do to make yourself feel a little bit better? 

Joey X