Flicking through the shelves of The Entertainer recently, I felt a little sad. When did we decide to just put down toys and never play with them again? When did adulthood really settle in? For me, at the age of 27, I still feel like a little kid. Some people would say it is my illness, but others would agree. I can’t help but think about when was the day that I simply put down a Barbie doll and never played make believe again. 

I wish in many ways that that day had never come. After years of therapy, I was told that I gave up my childhood too early. I made myself try to fit in with those around me. By doing so, I left my heart and innocence behind. I told myself I didn’t need the animations, the dolls or the things I used to love anymore. I needed everything the cool kids had. 

Yet, I didn’t really. I just needed me. 

Having spent years trying to find myself again - a journey I am still very much on - I realised that to rebuild myself, I need to go back to my youth. I need to enjoy Barbie. I need to binge watch Bluey. I need to talk about memories of time gone by and love each and every second of it. Because that is me. That is who I am. I am someone who loves being like a little kid. 

If you see me around Disneyland Paris, it is when I am at my happiest. I can embrace my inner peace. Whilst smiling, looking like a looney, at everything around me. Christmas time is the same. I may not be the biggest fan of the day, as I get sad that it is all over, but I love the build up. Seeing a lit up tree in a window whilst walking past makes my heart skip a beat. Something I know will happen again when I see Barbie in cinemas this summer. Not just because of Ryan Gosling!

A lot of people would say that I need to grow up. But like Peter Pan, I am not going to. I am finally starting to live again. I am finally rebuilding me to who I want to be. And I will be damned if anyone tries to stop me. Especially when it comes to hugging a Bluey at a press show. Or a Mickey at a castle. I will be me. 27 in years, 3 in reality. And honestly, I don’t even care. Bring it on! 

Go forth and be you lovelies! Play the Sims on your computer. Get those dolls out and brush their hair. Snuggle up with a cuddly teddy. They were made to be loved by everyone. They were made for you. Enjoy life lovelies, whatever age you may be, because unless they are solid laws, you can do whatever the hell you want!

Joey X